Dreamer Awakened

 

CHAPTER ELEVEN

 

 

 

“Lord Akumakai,”  Tamanasu bent low before his lord and kept his red-slitted eyes upon the ground where his lord’s withered body joined with the earth and became one.

Akumakai’s limbs stretched limitlessly within the darkness to feed upon the feeble energy of the trapped souls that wandered the endless Road of Death.  If their plan succeeded, Tamanasu thought, then Lord Akumakai would be liberated from this accursed place, his body whole once more; his nourishment the shining brightness of the humans in the Over World that Tamanasu himself had tasted.  They had given him strength as he knew they would strengthen his lord.

“Tamanasu,” rasped the eternal voice of Akumakai as he looked at the obeisant pose of his most devoted servant.  “We see that your limb has regained much of the strength that was lost when it was severed.  We are glad.”

“Yes, my lord,” Tamanasu replied, raising his head, but staying low to the ground, his sharp horns curving around to touch his back.  “I am ready to serve you once more in the Over World.”

“We are pleased, Tamanasu, that you are so eager to fulfill your duty to us,” Akumakai hissed, his four eyes staring steadily at Tamanasu.  “But what of the other Tengugaki that were sent in your stead.  Do they not await the coming of the one who will make us whole?”

Tamanasu looked away from Akumakai.  He bent so low that his forehead touched the ground, and he closed his slitted eyes in anger and shame.

 “They do not.  I have failed you, my lord.  Those I had chosen have all been slain, still too weak to fight the humans.”

“We had expected as much,” Akumakai hissed after a moment of silence.

“My lord,” Tamanasu looked up, wishing to offer some recompense for his failure, “there is another besides the child – a man who could bring us the evolution that we so desire – “

“No, Tamanasu,” Akumakai interrupted without letting him finish, “we know of whom you speak.  He is called Kusanagi, servant of the Aragami.  We have heard his name whispered by the gods.  His body carries the souls of the Aragami, becoming more than human.  He is a hybrid of sorts, but he unsuitable for our purposes.”

“But, my lord, if he is a hybrid,” Tamanasu persisted fervently, “then your freedom is assured!”

“No, Tamanasu, he is not suitable,” Akumakai rasped, the three black mitamas on his chest glowing bright red, “Kusanagi was born a human and made a servant.  His body has been changed, but his soul is still that of a human.  We must have the blood of the child, for he is neither human nor Aragami.  In his veins the two races mingle, assuring our ascension to greatness.  The child must be ours.”

“Yes, my lord.  I understand.”

Akumakai was silent.  The thirst for vengeance within Tamanasu was strong and he must be warned of the consequences that such an action would bring without the blood of the child.

“Even if we allowed you to kill Kusanagi,” Akumakai hissed, “we would weaken our position, Tamanasu.  As long as we seek the freedom to venture into the Over World that the Aragami souls have given us, we are vulnerable to the Kushinada.  Kusanagi is the Kushinada’s guardian and protector.  He will not let the humans sacrifice her, and her safety ensures our continued freedom to rise into the Over World.  Once we have the blood of the child, Tamanasu, then you may take your vengeance upon Kusanagi, for our evolution will be complete and we will no longer be tied to the life of the Kushinada.  But you must contain your impatience until then.”

“Yes, my lord,” Tamanasu acquiesced, “I will wait until we have the child and then I will seek my vengeance.  I will return to the Over World myself, my lord and bring the child back to you.  Your freedom is but a matter of time.  I swear that I will not fail you!”

Akumakai watched his servant go, the glow of hunger burning brightly in his mitamas.  Soon there would be limitless energy to feed his hungry soul.  He might never regain life, but he would drink his fill from the lives of those in the Over World.

 

Momiji opened her eyes, images of Susano-oh still fresh in her mind. She had been dreaming about him again.  It had been four nights since she had been attacked and this was the third night in a row that she had dreamed of him, each dream virtually the same. 

Momiji was suspended in blindingly thick, luminescent fog, a protective shroud of white, where light and energy soothed her wounded soul.  It restored to her, her strength of life as it penetrated her mind and body, and by her side was Susano-oh.   He stood quietly; unmoving, unspeaking, gazing at her, watching over her with his solemn eyes. 

Momiji knew that it was his aura that enshrouded her, and standing within its pure, shimmering essence, Momiji began to understand why her sister loved him and had followed him unquestioningly.    He had saved her life now, more times than she could count, and she wished nothing more than to serve him the way that Kaede had when he had taken the form of a mortal.  She knew he sensed her feelings as her soul communed with his during this time of healing just as she felt his pain for her, knowing that he would spare her the burden he had charged her with if he could.  But he could not spare her, and right before she slipped out of her dreams into consciousness, he would speak to her, the same words every time:  The journey of the child of the moon is almost complete.  It is a sign of his coming.  You must be prepared, Kushinada.

Prepared. 

The word echoed like a warning in her mind, and yet she didn’t know how she was to do as he asked.  How was she to prepare?  What was she supposed to do?  She wished she knew.

But despite not knowing what she was supposed to do, she had wanted to do something; anything, his continual presence in her mind spurring her on. 

Unfortunately, for the first few days after her attack, she had been confined to bed by Ms. Matsudaira.  So there had been little that she could do to obey Lord Susano-h’s command.  Her restriction had lasted only three days.  Not much time, really, but for Momiji, it seemed like an eternity.   As early as the first day, she had thought that she would go insane for the tension that was building inside her.  She knew that something important was about to happen, and she had been charged with the task of preparing for it, but couldn’t. 

But today that ended.  Today she was allowed to get up, she thought, relieved, and perhaps, she would find a way to prepare for “his” coming, whomever “he” was. 

Momiji stretched and sat up, twisting her head to look at her clock.  It was just after seven now, she observed as she pushed her hair out of her eyes.  That meant that she had a little over an hour before she had to leave to keep her appointment with Matsu before the big TAC meeting.  Just enough time for a shower and a cup of tea she thought as she pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed.

“Good morning, Princess,”  Kusanagi greeted her, looking up from the morning paper as she came into the kitchen, his tea paused half-way to his lips.

Momiji gave him a smile, glad to see him. 

            “Good morning,” she replied with quiet cheerfulness.

            “You seem to be awfully happy about something this morning,” he commented dryly.

            “Well, you would be happy too, if you had done nothing but lay in bed for three days and then were suddenly free,” she replied.

            “Hmmm, yes, I see what you mean,” he replied vaguely, his eyes sliding over her.  The burn mark on her forehead was virtually gone he was relieved to see. 

He looked his fill of her for a few seconds longer before he made himself turn away.  It had been hell trying to stay away from her these last few days, but Ms. Matsudaira had seemed to think it was better for her to be left undisturbed, with only her mother to keep an eye on her to help speed up her recovery.  Save for one brief outing to make a special purchase, he had done nothing but moon around his room during that time, brooding about her and fighting a fierce battle to keep himself from violating Ms. Matsudaira’s orders.

It was good to see her up again, and Kusanagi couldn’t keep his eyes from sliding hungrily back to her as she walked over to the counter to get an empty cup.  Did she look a little pale, or was it his imagination?  He wondered if she was feeling all right and opened his mouth to ask her when she tripped over her own feet.  She made a funny choking sound, her green eyes popping open in dismay as she windmilled her arms to keep from falling flat on her face.  He was ready to spring from his chair to help her when she quickly regained her balance.  Her expression was sheepish and her cheeks were stained bright crimson as she looked around to see if he had noticed her clumsiness.  He quickly turned away, and pretended that he hadn’t seen, a small smile tipping the corners of his mouth.

 Yep, she was back to normal, he thought.  Time to put his little plan into action, then.  Kusanagi shot her a furtive look while he sat, staring down at his paper, not really seeing the print in front of him as he laid his revenge plan out in his mind. 

Momiji busied herself with pouring her tea, her eyes straying to Kusanagi who seemed intensely immersed in his paper.  She had missed him these last three days, she thought with a small sigh.  Quite ridiculous really, considering that they were living in the same house.  But after that first night when she had begged him to stay with her, he had made himself virtually invisible.

Despite any number of logical reasons for his absence, Momiji still hadn’t been able to stifle the wistful thought that he might have spent at least a little time with her.  The only time she saw him though was in the morning when he brought her mother a cup of tea, and then again in the evenings, when he came to tell her mother that dinner was ready.  Even then, he hadn’t even given her more than a cursory glance before he was gone again. 

Moe hadn’t seemed to notice Kusanagi’s avoidance, or if she had, she didn’t say anything about it.  But then again, Moe hadn’t taken notice of anything for the last four days except for her daughter.  It was just like when Momiji had had her accident, only much worse, as the anxiety of almost losing her daughter again provoked an extreme instinct in Moe to protect her only living child. 

She had stayed with Momiji continuously, wearing herself down with stress and fatigue, and Momiji had watched her mother wilt under the strain of constantly supervising her even though Momiji privately felt that she didn’t need to be supervised. But no matter how much she had wished otherwise, Moe could not hold up under the stress indefinitely.  It had begun to take its toll, as Momiji knew it would, becoming visible in the dark circles under Moe’s eyes and the deep lines carved around her mouth and forehead.  Momiji hadn’t said anything, knowing how important it was to her mother to do this for her, and Kusanagi too, had held his silence despite the concerned frowns Momiji saw him give her mother on his brief visits to Momiji’s room.

But neither of them could stand by and remain silent when her mother had fallen asleep last night while eating dinner.  They had both insisted that she go home, then.  Moe had emphatically declared that she was fine, but neither Kusanagi nor Momiji would yield and she had finally been forced to capitulate on the condition that they would call her if Momiji needed her.  

Momiji was distracted from her thoughts by the sound of a whine.  Still standing by the counter, she looked over her shoulder and saw that Kebooru had come into the kitchen and was sitting close to Kusanagi’s chair, a look of utter adoration on her little, flat face.

“Poor, girl,” Momiji murmured turning around, “I bet you want to go outside, don’t you?”

“I’ve already taken her out,” came Kusanagi’s absent-minded response.

Momiji watched, her mouth open slightly as Kusanagi, without looking up from his paper, reached down and scratched Kebooru behind the ears and her whines subsided at his attention.  Kebooru’s tail thumped wildly against the floor and she put out a soft pink tongue and licked Kusanagi’s wrist above the gloved hand that gently stroked her head.

“I think she’s become attached to you, Kusanagi,” Momiji observed, and then, “I didn’t know you liked animals.”

“Kebooru’s not too picky about the company she keeps,” he replied with a shrug, still looking at his paper, “and why would you think that I don’t like animals?”  He asked, looking around at her with his cat-like eyes then, one eyebrow raised inquisitively.

“Well, I - I don’t know,” Momiji replied lamely, “you just never seemed to take much interest in them.”

Kusanagi didn’t say anything but his eyebrow soared even higher.  “Just because I don’t own one doesn’t mean that I don’t like them.  Animals are usually easier to please than people,” he told her dismissively, turning back to his paper, “give them a little food and water, a warm place to sleep and they’re happy.  They don’t ask you annoying questions, they won’t pester you constantly if you get sick, and if they get angry and decide to attack, you at least get a little bit of warning, not like – OWW-UH!” he cried, his head jerked forward as he felt Momiji’s palm connect solidly with the back of his head.  He turned his head and pointed a long finger at Keborru, “See,” he declared triumphantly as Momiji made his point for him,  “ You would never see Kebooru do something like that.”

“Well perhaps you haven’t pushed the right buttons.  Provoke her enough and she just might,” Momiji muttered through clenched teeth, bright sparks shooting from her eyes.

Kusanagi’s gaze slid from Momiji back to the puppy and he pretended to give the puppy a considering look before shaking his head.

“Nope,” he replied with certainty, “I seem to only get that kind of reaction from bony-legged vir – OWW-UH!”  he cried again, a ghost of an exasperated chuckle in his voice as he rubbed the back of his head.   “Will you stop that!?”

“That’s what you get for insulting your host, Mamoru Kusanagi!” Momiji retorted hotly, her face squinched into a pout,  “and my legs are NOT BONY!”

“Okay, okay,” he replied throwing up his hands, “even if they are on the skinny side, your legs aren’t bony – NO!” he said, laughing and suddenly pushing his chair back and clambering to his feet to avoid the swing of her hand.  He put some distance between them as she bore down on him with a murderous glint in her eye.

“Can’t you be nice for once?” she hissed at him.

“What!?” he said in mock confusion, “I thought I was being nice –“ he jumped out of the way as she took another swing at him. 

He caught her from behind with a soft laugh, pinning her arms to her sides by wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her against his chest.    The minute her body touched his, he closed his eyes, relishing her warmth and fighting against the desire to turn her around so that he could hold her the way he wanted to.

All the fight went out of Momiji the minute that she was in his arms.  A fire exploded inside her chest its warmth spreading into her neck and face.  Her brain ceased to function as she lived in the moment, feeling only the strength that flowed through him and surrounded her.  She leaned weakly into him, and he seemed to sense the sudden weakness, concern clearly evident in his voice when he spoke to her.

“You are feeling better aren’t you Momiji?” he murmured softly against her ear, his arms tightening protectively around her, his breath falling against her neck.

Momiji swallowed hard before she could reply.  “Yes.  I’m fine,” she told him, her voice coming out a little breathlessly but sounding normal for the most part.

“Good!” he replied blithely and suddenly let her go, leaving her feeling oddly deflated as he went back over to the table and sat down in front of his tea and paper.

Momiji looked at her watch.  She needed to leave now if she was to keep her appointment with Matsu before the TAC meeting.

“Are you coming to the meeting?”  Momiji asked him.

Kusanagi glanced at the clock and then back at his paper, “I’ll be there.”

Momiji didn’t say anything for a minute, biting her lip.  “Did you want to go with me?” she asked timidly.

There was a slight hesitation before he answered, almost as if he wanted to say yes, but changed his mind at the last moment.

“No thanks, Princess,” he finally replied off-handedly, “I have a few things I need to take care of before I leave here – but thanks for the offer though.”

Momiji stood there a moment longer, her eyes lingering on the back of his head, before she finally left.  Kusanagi stayed in his chair until he heard her close the front door and then he dropped his casual pose altogether.  He was out of his chair in a flash and into the living room, looking surreptitiously through the blinds, watching Momiji’s car pull away from the house.  The blinds made a soft clink as he let them fall back into place, and his mouth tweaked into a smile that would have given Momiji a suspicious fit if she had been there to see it. 

Kusanagi vaulted up the stairs and into Momiji’s room.  He crossed the room with purposeful strides stopping in front of her chest of drawers.  Without hesitating he began opening the drawers, carefully rifling through the contents of each one.  He looked down at the meager contents in his hand. 

“Only three??” he murmured in disbelief.  “Phffft,” he snorted, “there’s got to be more than this.”

With a frown, he closed the last drawer and turned around to survey her room.  His eyes moved from the bed to the closet to the chair.  Where would she keep them, he thought, and then his mouth curved into a satisfied smile as his eyes came to a rest on her dresser. 

Bingo!  He thought as he pulled open the first drawer and found what he was looking for.  He quickly emptied the contents of the first drawer, marveling at the enormous quantity of cute and fuzzy animals.  He checked the other drawers to make sure that he had everything, carefully going through the nightgowns, camisoles and nylons making sure that he hadn’t missed anything when the flash of something red and white stuck in the back at the very bottom caught his attention.  He reached down and pulled it out, noticing a big red heart that had words written under it. 

I love you Mr. Kusanangi.

Where the heck did she get these things??  His eyes widened and his face reddened a little when he realized what it said.  Then he smiled roguishly to himself, tucking the flimsy bit of fabric in his back pocket to keep them separate from the others.  Oh, yes, he thought, he could definitely use these to his advantage.  Maybe not right now, but he felt sure that their time and place would come.

Nudging the drawer shut with his hip, his arms full of confiscated bounty, he left her room and climbed back downstairs, reaching the bottom just as someone knocked on the front door.  It was that girl, Akiko, Kusanagi saw through the blinds with dismay. 

Akiko was about to knock again when the door cracked open and two cat-like eyes peered warily at her from behind the barrier of the door.  Was this Kusanagi, then, Akiko wondered and she watched him curiously.  He had his body hidden behind the door, but she could tell from the position of his head and shoulders that he was struggling to keep from dropping something he was carrying.

“Hello,” Akiko smiled brightly, her eyes flitting from his face to his shoulders and back to his face again, trying not to look too nosy.  “I’m Akiko.”

“Ummm, yes, I know,” he replied, his voice sounding tense and just a tad unwelcoming to her ears.  “Momiji’s not here right now,” he told her abruptly and could have bitten his tongue out at her abashed expression.  “I – I’m Kusanagi, he told her with a note of apology.  “I’m staying with Momiji for a while – but like I said, she’s not here right now, though she should be back shortly, if you want to come back…” he let his voice trail of suggestively, a look of hope on his face that she would take the hint.

Akiko just gave him a lost look, as if she wasn’t certain what she should do at this point.  She looked back over her shoulder at the car that still had its engine running and then focused her brown eyes back on Kusanagi.

“Well, I really only stopped by to get Kebooru,” she explained, biting her lip, “and normally I wouldn’t mind coming back later, but you see,” she looked back over her shoulder again and pointed to the car, “that’s my mom’s car and she’s taking me home because my doctor still won’t let me drive for about another week, so – I was hoping that I could take her with me now, otherwise – “

Kusanagi looked desperately uncomfortable but nodded his head in understanding.  He pulled the door open wider to let her in, still standing behind it as she came through, her eyes pinned to him in a curious manner. 

Once she was inside, Akiko asked, “Is she in the kitchen?”

“Who?” Kusanagi asked in a distracted way looking down at his chest, still behind the door.

Akiko’s eyebrow shot up at that.  “Kebooru.”

“Oh, well,” Kusanagi finally looked back up at her and hedged, “I’m not really sure.”

“D-do you mind if I go and look?”

And when Kusanagi shook his head, Akiko just gave him another strange look and went into the kitchen, leaving Kusanagi standing in his sentry position by the door, sweating bullets. 

She came back without the little puppy and said, “She’s not in there.”

Kusanagi mentally groaned but replied, “No? She was in there this morning,” he responded, knowing he sounded like an idiot.

Akiko walked slowly back over to him.  “Don’t you think you should close the door, now?” she finally asked, pointing to his last line of defense.

“Wh-what?  Wh-why?” he asked panic-stricken.

“You’re letting all the warm air out and all the cold air in,” she replied matter-of-factly, and then, “Besides that, I was hoping you could help me find Kebooru, and if you leave the door open, she might get out while we’re looking for her.”

Kusanagi looked like he wanted to refuse, but he didn’t.  Instead, with a look of dread, he toed the door and it swung on its hinges, shutting with a soft click, and leaving him fully exposed to view.  Akiko’s eyes swept from Kusanagi’s red face, down to the rather huge bundle of panties clutched against his chest and she resisted the urge to smile.

“Those look like they’ll be sort of a tight fit for you, don’t you think?” she commented and watched his face go even redder.

“It isn’t what you think,” he hastily replied, with a grimace.

Akiko smiled conspiratorially at him.  “ What I think is that you’ve got Momiji’s underwear and you’re planning to do something with them other than launder them or wear them, since you don’t look like the kind of guy who goes around wearing women’s underwear, or at least women’s underwear with little duckies on them,” Akiko replied with a chuckle.

Kusanagi was silent for a fraction of a heartbeat.  “Okay.  So this is what it looks like.”

“You know, Momiji told me that you were the one that brought me to the hospital.  I never did get the opportunity to thank you for saving my life, Kusanagi,” Akiko said swinging away from him on the pretext of looking for Kebooru whom they both knew wasn’t anywhere in the room.  “I’ll just go upstairs and check Momiji’s room, and maybe when you get done with – “ she waved her hand vaguely in his direction, “ - whatever it is you’re doing, you could check the rest of the rooms upstairs for me.”

Without waiting for his reply, she turned on her heel and quietly ascended the stairs, Kusanagi watching her go, feeling thoroughly humiliated and relieved that she hadn’t pressed for an explanation.  Pushing his turbulent feelings aside, he completed his mission and then went upstairs, finding Kebooru curled up in the middle of his bed, sound asleep.

Kusanagi scooped her up and took her to Akiko.  The little dog squirmed madly when she saw Akiko, her curly tail thumping wildly against Kusanagi’s chest as she strained against him to greet her mistress. 

“Tell Momiji that I said thank you for taking care of Kebooru for me,” Akiko told him as she got ready to leave, and then added as an afterthought,,  “you know, Momiji has another pair that you might not know about.  She’s had them for a long time and she keeps them hidden in a separate drawer from the rest,” she paused in the doorway to look back over her shoulder at him before she passed through.

“Oh really?” Kusanagi replied noncommittally.

“Just be sure that if you find them to remember that they are a memento to her of a time long past,” Akiko told him gravely, “and be careful how you use them.”

Kusanagi stared steadily into Akiko’s brown eyes and asked, “Why did she never wear them?”

Akiko looked away from him then, stepping through the door.   “She did, but you were just too blinded by Kaede to see,” she murmured.  “But maybe this time, it will be different,” she briefly speculated and then she was gone.

She turned and waved before she climbed into the car and Kusanagi waved back.

“This time it is different,” Kusanagi said softly, “for her as well as for me.”

 

Matsu sat back and gave Momiji a pleased but perplexed look.  “I don’t understand it, but your health seems to be blooming.”

“After all that bed rest you prescribed, it’s no wonder,” Momiji replied with a sparkle.

“Well, yes, even taking that into consideration, it is still amazing, Momiji,” Matsu said and then hastily added, “not that I’m not glad that you’re feeling better, but your body has gone through a traumatic ordeal, bordering on a total collapse of the autonomic nervous system.  That’s not something that you just get over in a couple of days.  I can’t explain it, but it’s almost like it never happened at all.”

Momiji looked down at her hands and didn’t say anything.  If she had cared to, she could have enlightened Matsu as to the reason for her complete recovery.  But Momiji was afraid to say anything, fearing that the TAC would consider Susano-oh as their most likely suspect in light of the most recent attacks.

“I think we might even remove your cast today,” Matsu told Momiji and watched Momiji’s head shoot up to look at Matsu, fidgeting in her chair with excitement.

“Oh, yes, please!” Momiji cried, more than ready to have both hands again.

“It might make us a few minutes late for the meeting that Mr. Kunikida scheduled for this morning,” Matus deliberated, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, “but they’re not likely to start without me, since they need my data.  Otherwise it won’t be much of a meeting.”

“Does that mean that we can do it?”  Momiji wanted to know eagerly.

Matsu grinned in response.  “Let’s do it!”

 

“Kusanagi!” 

Sugishita greeted him he entered the small conference room.  He gave Kusanagi a hearty slap on the back that earned him a black look.  Sugishita hastily dropped his hand to his side and grinned sheepishly. 

Almost everyone was here, Kusanagi noted, seated around a rectangular table situated in the middle of the room.  Mr. and Mrs. Kunikida sat together their heads bent close as they talked softly to each other.  Kome and Yaegashi were here too.  Kome was leaning back in her chair, her arms crossed over her chest and her feet propped up on the table, a zoned out look of boredom on her face.  Yaegashi sat next to her, leaning forward in his seat, his eyes pinned to the computer screen sitting on the table in front of him. 

And then there was Sakura, the only one, besides Sugishita and himself, who was not seated at the table.  She was standing by the window, dressed in considerably warmer apparel than usual, Kusanagi noted in surprise.  She was wearing a tight fitting jade-green sweater and Kusanagi was amazed to see that she was actually wearing pants for a change.  He hadn’t thought that the girl owned anything that came below her upper thigh, although, the pants did have Sakura’s signature style written all over them.  They were so snug had they been buff colored she might have been arrested for indecent exposure.  Her crimson eyes focused on him for a brief second as he let his gaze sweep over her and he watched as she flipped her nose up in the air, turning her attention back to window finding the view more interesting than the sight of him.

“Hey, Kusanagi,” Sugishita addressed him again, this time in a loud whisper and Kusanagi focused his attention back on the sandy-haired man standing next to him.

Seeing that he had Kusanagi’s full attention, Sugishita cleared his throat and said, “I heard through the grapevine that you and Momiji broke up, that you left her high and dry in

Tokyo and that’s why she moved here.  Is it true?”

Kusanagi’s face wore an arrested expression and he didn’t say anything for a minute.  “Who told you that?”

“We-e-ll,” Sugishita temporized and didn’t say who, but Kusanagi followed his gaze as his eyes darted over to where Sakura was standing by the window and Kusanagi scowled.  “I can’t really tell you, but I have it on good authority that before she left Tokyo, Momiji said that she didn’t think you were interested in her anymore.  If that’s true, then you won’t mind if I make a move on her, will you?  She’s quite a cutie, you know.  Might even be the one that finally gets me to settle down,” he gave a little laugh at that thought and then said, “ So, is it true, then?  Are you and she really finished” 

This was his chance to finally let her go.  All he had to do was say yes.  Say yes and let a normal guy have a chance at making Momiji happy, Kusanagi thought, and although, Sugishita wasn’t all that normal, it was still a start. 

“Momiji belongs to me,” Kusanagi heard himself say in an uncompromising way, “and no, we’re not finished.”  He shot Sugishita a steely look making sure that what he said had registered in Sugi’s fickle head.

Sugi did look a little disappointed but far from crushed.  “Well, I didn’t think so,” he said with a regretful sigh, “but still, it never hurts to check, does it?”  He gave Kusanagi one last grin and left him standing there, crossing to join Sakura by the window in order to try and flirt with her.

Kusanagi watched him go, his face hiding his true feelings as his own words caused strong conflict within him.  He wanted her.  She belonged to him.  But could he allow himself to have her, or was he still obligated to stay away?  He still couldn’t decide, but he knew that he wanted her to be happy, knew that she deserved to be happy more than anyone else he knew. 

Momiji was a creature that thrived on emotion, her beauty shining most brightly when she expressed and received affection and he was hopelessly incompetent when it came to showing and receiving affection, a direct result of his emotionally deprived life.  Could he give her what she needed to make her happy? 

All his life he had been little more than a tool, a means to an end for the Aragami.  By the time he had met Momiji, he had forgotten what affection was, love and gentleness having forsaken him when his parents had been slaughtered when he was just a child.  From an unnaturally early age, he had learned only obedience, the cold will of the Aragami as his teacher.  And as he grew, watching Kaede from afar, seeing her happiness and gentleness, he had learned not of affection but of longing, all happier emotions still foreign to him but fascinating to him all the same. 

As he had grown, Kusanagi had observed the sweetness of life in and around Kaede, and she became his focus, his reason for living.  She had been his ideal.  He had seen in her all the things he had been denied and she became all the things he wanted, but couldn’t have. 

Had he loved her?  He had thought so, even though he was incapable of expressing it.   For the longest time, he had believed it to be true, as he watched her from afar, and his world had shattered into a thousand pieces when he had thought she had been murdered.  After her death, he had finally found expression for his lost love through emotions that were familiar to him: hatred and anger, and from that moment on, he had sought revenge against the Aragami for again taking away the most precious thing in his life. 

Kusanagi had been too young when his parents had been killed to fight against his new Aragami masters, and as a boy, he hadn’t fully understood the true intentions of the Aragami.  Kaede was the closest thing he had had to a family growing up, and he had been content to be left alone so he could watch the dark headed girl whose laughter called to his heart and whose eyes shone brightly full of hopes and dreams.

He had grown up alone, always on the outside looking in, but he hadn’t cared.  As long as he could watch Kaede and protect her and her dreams, that was all that had mattered to him.  He had never even considered any other life for himself, despite his heart being filled with hunger and longing as he was constant witness to Kaede’s life.  And although he knew she was aware of his presence, he had never dared approach her.  He had been almost afraid that if he reached out to touch her, she would shimmer like an image on still water that has been suddenly disturbed and would disappear altogether.

But then she had disappeared anyway, despite his efforts to keep her safe; taken away by those who had sent him to protect her. His heart had twisted with bitterness and resentment at her death and he had finally rebelled, wanting to destroy the Aragami’s world the way they had destroyed his. 

From that moment on, he had decided that he would serve no one but himself and he had begun a journey that had ended in Izumo with Momiji; the means by which he could take his revenge, not just for Kaede’s death, but the death of his parents and his chances of a normal, happy life.

            He could never regain any of the things he had lost.  He had realized that even as he had stalked Momiji but he didn’t care, thinking that perhaps gaining his freedom would help to fill the emptiness in his soul. 

And so began his short struggle to take the life of the other Kushinada, the girl whose sister he had dreamed about and idealized.  He had followed Momiji for several days before he closed in to finish her, telling himself that she was nothing to him, just a mere slip of a girl who had more hair than brains.  And yet he could not do it, seeing in her, a glimmer of Kaede. 

His attempts had been further complicated by the fact that the Aragami had used him yet again.  This time to track Momiji down so they might destroy her themselves and Kusanagi found himself unable to break the cycle of protecting the Kushinada that had been initiated by the Aragami so many years before.  But it was during his battle with Orochi, that Kusanagi had begun to understand that his life was not exactly the same as before.  All because of her; one slip of a girl with more hair than brains. 

During the battle with Orochi, Momiji had done something he had never expected.  She had unflinchingly sacrificed herself out of concern to save him; the blow Orochi had meant to slay Kusanagi, instead piercing her heart.  It was the ultimate act of love and kindness rendered for his sake, a man who had never personally experienced kindness, a man who was no more than a stranger to her. 

It had confounded him, confused him and enraged him at the same time.  He was left reeling, grappling to understand what had happened and to understand the foreign emotions that her action had stirred within his heart.  But he knew that no matter what, he would protect her, the only person who had ever reached out to him, giving of herself without expecting anything in return. 

He had begun his vigil of watching over her, the same as he had with Kaede, but with Momiji, he found the boundaries separating their existences blurred and he was no longer on the outside looking in.  The isolation and loneliness that had been magnified by the boundary that separated him from Kaede wavered and disappeared like an image shimmering on the broken surface of still water when he was with Momiji.  Kaede was shimmering light, ethereal in nature; a dream that could not be held, but Momiji was vibrant radiance, warm and tangible; a promise of what could be. 

Kusanagi was no longer human, but she made him feel human.  He had so little to offer her, and yet she was everything he wanted.  So the question remained: could he learn to show her the affection he felt or was he going to let his old obligation to stay away from her rule his life?  Could he make her happy?  Was he going to risk trying? 

He was going to have to make a decision, he realized, looking at Sugishita.  If she truly belonged to him, then he was going to have to learn to show her and relinquish his old obligation or else relinquish his claim to her and learn to live without her.   He didn’t want to live without her, but all he had known his whole life was obligation and it wasn’t so easy to dismiss it.  He was still agonizing over it when he heard two female voices in the hall just beyond the door and turned to see Momiji and Matsu entering the room.